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WEEK 24- Mourning Tea

The other morning…I pulled myself out of my sleep and I woke up saying aloud “I need to change to be able to create”… it kind of freaked me out for a little bit because I never really wake up from my sleep that way. It felt similar to one of those dreams where you wake up from the falling sensation… But I have just been going over so much material that I am dreaming about it… I’ve had so many dreams of source and just having comfort and no worries in those dreams…They also brought feelings of safety…it was oddly satisfying…. This past week was very challenging for me… My body’s hormones become very imbalanced now and then. My thoughts take on the condition of my body and I spiral out of control mentally.. this week I focused on being greater then my body and it worked….. I brought my body eventually to a calm present state…I am proud of how far I have come… also on a pleasant note I got another message that made me smile and it’s my featured pic this week it came from my morning Tea it said “Nature does not hurry yet everything is accomplished.”-Lao Tzu Which reminded me of this weeks webinar talking about the bees 🐝 and how they do their lil dance… and it creates all this life and beauty… right now I am just amazed by all the little miracles around me and the serendipities that come my way…. I got to go in the middle of a hockey rink this week 🙂 and dance like nobody was watching… well in fact I was blindfolded and everyone saw lmao I was randomly selected for a dance game but none the less me being chosen at random was a fun surprise! Lol I feel like I continue to go through the cycle of life and death of my old self and it’s interesting how much more aware I become… I am loving it!

Love always,

Pandagirl

CRYSTAL ANN MAGAÑA 🐼🍄

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Week 22A and 23- Misunderstood and loving it!

These two weeks I started firing and wiring new synaptic connections by picking up new and old hobbies…. I picked up my guitar that was gathering dust… I started a sewing project well learned how to sew kinda lol

🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼

… I connected with old friends and told them of my experience to try and help light the spark in them! I had lost myself for a long time and even though I have a child like nature at times.. I’ve always been timid and very misunderstood. The webinar during this week really was a great one… it reminded me that I didn’t have to provide an explanation to anyone about anything and that I am perfect the way that I am. I used to plead my case all the time to convince people why I was love able and why I should be treated with dignity…. now I know that is not necessary anymore and I know that because I am loving myself… and I am treating myself with respect which is helping me a lot with codependency issues I used to have. Also I added being misunderstood to my strengths pile and it is just a beautiful thing! I have opened a whole other line of communication with family and friends it’s very liberating to my soul.

My card was drawn this week whether you believe in card reading or not .. I have always gotten my cards read and the first one that was pulled this week was the page of swords and I just began to cry… my readings have always been very accurate… just gave me more validation that I am on the right track..hopefully you can read from the pic below but just talks about how I am opening my mind to endless possibilities!

Also, I would like to add that I met up with my friend at a brewery… usually being surrounded by alcohol I would always have to have at-least one drink I am glad to say I gave up alcohol for use of self medication because I don’t need it anymore! It always seemed like such a struggle to quit those bad habits but I had a Black Cherry soda that beautiful day… and as I said good bye to my friend and walked to my car I was greeted by the beauty of nature. I was just taken aback by the mix of pinks purples and blues that painted the early evening sky… it just took my breath away and I felt instant gratitude…. I know what is attainable now… and I want that for everyone… yea I am still a work in progress but just the joy and freedom I have felt these past couple of weeks… makes me want to open my heart even more.

Love always,

PANDA 🐼

WEEK 22- C O H E R E N C E

Coherence is in the silence… my visualizations as of late are of me walking into the quantum field.. I feel I grow closer as I continue to send love where there used to be none. This week I have found it hard to be in total silence.. I am constantly on the  go visiting friends and having new experiences.. music is also a  big part of my life…but the silence is calling me I just have this gut feeling that I have to go into the silence.  I truly am preparing myself for a week of silence.. I have told family and friends and they don’t quite understand but they support me anyways….

I  do believe now that thought creates conditions in the body..  I have been disconnected from my body for a long time. Stress hormones had taken over, but now I’m just learning and practicing to let that flow through me.  I pull myself into the present and live unaffected to some point. It really is a wonderful feeling. I have to say also that I used to be erratically  passionate, now I feel a sense of control and peace. I know I am on the right path.  I am grateful.

Love always,

Crystal Ann Magaña 🐼🐼🐼

 

Painting done by my God daughter Lucy.

 

 

WEEK 21- Forever Grateful

I had a moment of clarity this week so much that it brought me to tears…. I had been celebrating my birthday all month long with my friends and family… I decided to throw myself a party. Historically my birthday had always been a sad event in my life growing up….up until three years ago… I started to throw myself parties because I didn’t want to cry anymore… I didn’t care what anyone thought I just wanted my friends to come out and enjoy themselves… and dance and sing with me… In my life I had always wished for friends… or to be surrounded by people who cared… well this year as I sat in my tiara lol I looked around and I realized that the people who showed up to my party were the people who were supposed to be in my life right now. They are kind hearted compassionate people… I actually felt my heart swell with love and joy it brought me to tears… which gives a whole other meaning to “Its my party and I can cry if I want to” I felt like I attracted these people into my life and their love for me was no coincidence… they actually accepted me for me… flaws and all! I wish I had learned everything I know now sooner… but I am truly thankful that that those events brought me here now.

I am going to get kinda dark right now…. This was my last resort… when I found the masterkeys I was in a bad state of mind… I had felt like I had tried everything to help myself from therapy to medications….. and much more… I can relate to people with depression and anxiety on so many levels but my message to them now is so much different then it was five months ago…. because now I believe anything is possible… and I have achieved a sense of freedom that I want everyone to feel! I want others to believe that it’s possible to be free from the negative thoughts that bind us… free of that prison I think we all create for ourselves at one point. I don’t think a lot of us know that we are stronger then we are… we are god like… pure divinity… and it’s amazing really… Sometimes I wanna question myself… but then I remember that we all capable of great things…. I will just forever be grateful and I just want to fill my heart with love because love is the key..

Crystal Ann Magaña

-Pandagirl🐼

WEEK 20- My faith began to waver…

It was one of those weeks where I laid sick in bed… and my faith began to waver… The old blue print began to tell me I wasn’t worthy of love… it began to tell me that I wasn’t good enough… well I took control of those thoughts within 15 mins. I still felt the pain.. but it quickly went away! I remembered the person I used to be and how I never want to go back to that… Valentine’s Day passed and my cold got worse… I laid tossing and turning but I remembered to be grateful because I know my immune system will eventually fight it off… and I began to make goals to get stronger health wise and in matters of my mind and heart… I let someone I love go FOR REAL this week .. I let him go for me.. and it’s something I thought I would never do… I wished him happiness and eventual prosperity… I let him go to take the final step of completely loving myself…. this was one thing that quite often answered the question “what am I pretending not to know…?” I am just so happy that I am strong enough to have made that decision…

This week in the webinar they talked about how we can use those negative thoughts and turn them into tools for expanding… that message really clicked for me because since I have become so aware of what I want to manifest and create for myself… it’s easier for the watchman at the gate to do his job! Ha… I noticed that me getting sick made me vulnerable to those ugly thoughts… before I got sick… I was reading up on Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work… and watching testimonials of great things he has done in his own practice…it’s a path I intend to take mainly the practice of meditation to reprogram myself… his work and the science he backs it up with are very fascinating to me… I got excited again for life, it was just a mix of emotions this week… the MKE has really expanded my way of thinking and I am so grateful to be apart of this program… they gave me the right tools to help myself… but when it comes down to it I haven’t eliminated fear completely and it’s obvious…. somewhere buried in me I am still that frightened little girl.. I don’t really give attention to it but I’m trying to find a way to completely set her free… loving myself I feel is the foundation… and I know now that I will never let anyone break it because it means so much to me…. I know I am energy and I am love … and I am just ready to get stronger!

☕️🦠🤧😷🐼😴

Crystal Ann Magaña

PANDA

WEEK-19 In loving memory

The world lost a beautiful soul this week Sheryl Campbell. She was my Tennis coach in middle school. She always coached very sternly, but she was always very loving. After I left middle school I ventured out and took time for my studies but our paths crossed every now and then until I became an adult… I ran into her during my college years…she was someone I looked up to…someone I will never forget because she left an impression on me…. Her reach spanned over 30 years working in the school system and I honestly believe she left her legacy…. The week it happened I had her on my mind… then a few days later I found out she passed… I was shocked… she was taken too soon… I read her obituary this week… For the past couple of weeks I had been reading obituaries.. but it’s different when it’s someone who has touched your life… There was also a death in my karaoke world Reece who was also taken to soon… she was just a bit older then I am… and she struggled to find peace for so many years… it hurts me when anyone passes but someone so close to my age. I realize we are not promised tomorrow. Shortly after that I found out my middle school video productions teacher died about a year ago helping people in Uganda…. Mr. Davis… he also touched my life when I was at a age when life was so hard …he brought a light into my darkness… Kindness no matter how small can resonate for years and I believe it’s what our world needs more of… Even though I’m saddened by these losses… I’m glad I live in a world where I knew they existed…

Always be kind…be the light for others…

-Crystal Ann Magaña 🐼🐼🐼

WEEK 18- The quiet observer..

This week I truly understood what it meant to be the quiet observer… In an earlier post I wrote about how I help people and that’s what I do… that I give unnecessary advice and compliments. I try to make other people happy. I realized this week that maintaining my peace is more important then trying to keep the peace in others… bottom line is that it’s not my responsibility… I stopped all together trying to glue back the broken pieces of my friends…. the tug o’ war in my relationships stopped… and I watched as my friends appreciated me more for it…

I had put myself in a high stress situation this week with a negative person, why? Because of the humane and compassionate side of me that is never going to leave… if anything I’m more compassionate and empathetic then ever… I shared with her everything I have been learning in this course… I guess preaching in a way …the idea of finding the world within… but she came back with negativity and negated everything I said… and it hurt it really did, but I realized in that moment I had to stop and once I did I was at peace again. I had a great conversation with my mastermind partner …we were talking about how to handle these types of situations and the answer has always been …to just send love… it’s the only way! So the next time I saw my friend I gave her the biggest hug and I told her I loved her.. and I had a great night that night!

I also thought about this weeks lesson in particular communicating with universal mind.. it’s a very interesting concept… and I’m starting to be more aware of my own thoughts and what I put out in the world I think more in terms of who I want to be rather then what I was and it’s truly amazing …my positive self talk and thinking in terms of abundance are becoming a great habit for me… and I’m truly grateful

So if you’re not experiencing the results you had anticipated… I just hope you never give up on yourself because we are all natures greatest miracle…. Also, be proud of your capacity to love and love freely!

Take care!

-Crystal Ann Magaña 🐼🐼🐼

WEEK 17 HJ- Living my life like it’s Golden

I have chosen to continue with the Hero’s Journey! If you would’ve told me months ago that I would be comfortable— BLISSFUL EVEN with the thought of the unknown I would’ve called you crazy! The call for the Hero’s Journey was just too loud and remained a strong message in my mind even as I wanted to lie down and quit. Month after month I struggled in this course, I knew I was smart enough to grasp the concepts of the materials but I didn’t believe that such a significant change would ever happen. I was stuck in the mentality of oh this is how I will always be because this is how I have always been. I would drive around with my friend and he would let me vent about how I didn’t think self-love and happiness were even possible at this point in my life or ever! Luckily he always believed in me! But it took all this time to believe in myself and I am truly grateful for that!

Breaking away from others expectations was truly hard.. one of the hardest things I have ever done. But it has now brought me peace and peace is what I want to maintain! I have transitioned in to the transformation phase of this process from >>>Sacrifice>>>> Death>>> Transformation. I never thought I would fully let my old self die…It reminds me of that Taylor swift song where she says- “Old Panda can’t come to the phone right now. She’s dead.” LOL ok I changed it a bit but you get it. I’m trying to think in terms of “what would my authentic self do next?” I am still reclaiming my authentic self- the golden person that I know is still inside me. It’s been quite a Journey. I just know living a life of quiet desperation will never be enough for me. I am now focused on augmenting nature’s greatest miracle… which is myself.

(Thats one of my many silly faces) lol

I am what I am…

Love y’all!

Crystal Ann Magaña🐼


Golden by Jill Scott

WEEK 17- Mindshift

You know that part in Aladdin where the genie is set free from his magic lamp and the chains begin to break off and he’s finally free…? Well the invisible chains I struggled so hard to break …finally gave way…Who was my captor? It was me..I have always been the one holding myself back from my happiness and my destiny…. along with the idea of being a victim… I finally chose this week not to be a victim anymore…. It truly felt like magic… a magical transformation that I will never forget…

I just want to share with you… the exact moment this shift happened it was January 20th the day of the blood moon… I washed my Crystals and I was going to charge them under the blood moon… (I am a beginner Crystal collector and what not) ..but anyways I set them out on a table in the backyard…it was a cold night roughly around 10:41pm. I sat in a lawn chair and I stared up at the moon as it began to transition.. but I sat there and I began to pray ( I’m not a religious woman and I didn’t know who I was praying to..) but I sat and I prayed… I was emotionally exhausted… but I relaxed and felt the grandeur of this moon… and it kinda freaked me out because I let my mind wander to abstract places… I stayed out there til the cold bit my nose… then I got ready for bed I put oil on my feet and I closed my eyes.. the next morning I woke up and my mind had shifted… I was no longer in emotional pain… I gave my self whole heartedly permission to be happy… I felt amazing… I was surprised…everything that I have been learning in the master keys finally made sense and I forgave myself and I set myself free..I like to think that the blood moon was a metaphor for my mindshift… I honestly feel like a new person! It’s very hard to explain but I know that everything is going to be ok and I can only grow from here!

Love y’all

-Crystal Ann Magaña 🐼

Are you tired of being a victim?


Photo Cred: Justin

Awesome pic taken with a telescope!

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