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WEEK 3- Create Your Own Happiness

My dear friend gave me this journal about three years ago. It was never used.. really until this year… I’d always read the cover aloud… Create.. Your… Own… Happiness… and I’d always scoff at the notion because I always thought life was being unfair to me… I’d always look at my life and look at the journal and wonder how does one even do that?!… At that time in my life my friend and I who were in the same sinking mental boat would have countless unproductive conversations centered about “traditional psychology” (Because my two years of psychology courses in college made me an expert lol) and loving one’s self. Sometimes the conversations would leave us even more frustrated and stuck deeper in our boy problems!

To this day I still think fondly of my friend ..but unfortunately we don’t talk anymore. I have learned so much from doing this course and it just seems like the knowledge of the universe is never ending.. so it excites my will to read and learn… and oh there is so much to learn and take in! I haven’t felt this way in so many years! I had always believed I needed fixing ever since I was a little panda. Who knew that loving yourself was the answer?! I sure didn’t!

I’m filled with so much gratitude as I write this. I am truly on a journey to create not only Happiness but abundance, health, and prosperity! My two PPNs are Liberty and Recognition for Creative Expression. My light shines brighter every day!

The progression in week three has been enjoyable, the one thing I made myself aware of was that I wasn’t reading with enough ENTHUSIASM… and I always hear Marky J. in my head… so on Wednesday I decided to give it the good old try and man I think I impressed my Subby lol I am a person who talks with her hands, so it was almost like a theatrical play production!  I was so good and it felt so good. lol The sit I found interesting, as I am now starting to get glimpses of shapes and colors (Red and White this week) doesn’t occur all the time but its intriguing and another thing to do research on. I have two wonderful mastermind partners! They are great motivators! Of course I had my down moments this week but you know what?! They aren’t as prominent.  I hope to write about the healing work I’m doing in the weeks to come. For right now I’d like to leave you with an affirmation that has been on my mind lately

“I change my life when I change my thinking. I am Light. I am Spirit. I am a wonderful, capable being. And it is time for me to acknowledge that I create my own reality with my thoughts. If I want to change my reality, then it is time for me to change my mind.” ~ Louise Hay

My journal is now full of Affirmations and resources that help guide me to where I want to beeeeeeeeeeeee 😀

Thanks for reading! Let your light shine!

Love,

Crystal Ann Magaña

Pandagirl

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WEEK 2-BuTtErFly KiSsEs

I would like to start off with an experience I had this week. I often listen to spiritual talks on YouTube to help me guide my thoughts to a general positive state of mind…. More often than not I hear people talk about butterflies, most manifesting butterflies to play with. I don’t see butterflies in my experience quite often so I decided to ask for some of that! I wanted to play with Butterflies too Damnit! Lol

I went to an amusement park by myself here in town to ride my favorite roller coaster…. Ok so after riding in the front I got back in line to ride in the back, the line was uneven..the guy in front of me was also riding by himself I asked him if he would like some company on the ride he said sure! And as he turned around I saw a beautiful monarch butterfly tattooed on the back of his neck. It was so pretty! We spent all night riding roller coasters together, laughing and talking. There was my butterfly!  It truly made my heart swell. Little things like that keep popping into my experience where I used to think it was a coincidence. But really nothing is coincidence. I really love the little delights in life… but it also makes me excited for the bigger things that will come into my experience as I hone in on my own inner power.

Reading OG and getting organized was therapeutic for me this time around whereas the first time it was VERY overwhelming. Not anymore! I took one of my nephew’s backpacks that he grew out of and filled it with my binders and books, on the front it says “Unleash the power!” the perfect backpack because in lesson two it talks a lot about our inner power.  I would just suggest to organize things in a way that brings you joy! All my materials are covered in Lisa frank Art stickers and posters imagery I am truly a child at heart! But everything has become a joy to perform! I found myself quoting OG to my mom the other day because she said I didn’t look tired! I do admit I have more energy.. Slowly but surely everything is seeping into that mysterious source which never sleeps.

When I sit the sensations of butterfly kisses come to mind …affectionate with faint flutters….

I am grateful for this day!

 

Love,

Crystal Ann Magaña

Pandaguuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl

WEEK 1- I AM A PROSPEROUS PANDA!

Hello everybody! I am back for a second round! The first time around I didn’t give 110% to the exercises. But this time I’m giving 120%! Because I know wholeheartedly that they are going to help me achieve my goals in life.

I realized that I was able to get myself into a joyful… blissful..state a majority of the time towards the end of this course and at that point a lot of things  had manifested for me including  abundance in friendships, trips, and experiences. My life felt like a roller coaster that I created… (A good fun one, mind you)

I have been going nonstop since I finished this course last April, as I look back on those experiences it helped me see that I should give more feelings of gratitude to future experiences. Something I would like to share with you is that when the roller coaster would come down at the end of each night I would realize that I still have a sense of loneliness and unworthiness… I would reflect on how great my day had been and people I had met along the way. Bottom line is that I am not using the mechanism that I have in my mind to its full potential. I haven’t spent enough time getting to know my inner being and it’s something I don’t want to be detached from any longer. I have pinpointed that I have a poor self-image.

Personally, my poor self-image has been running my life for the 31 years I have been alive. It’s a hard thing to admit but I am grateful that I am aware of it. Since the exercises in this course implement Auto suggestion and self-suggestion I feel like I will find the success I want to achieve. The support of a community and repetitiveness of the exercises are only going to benefit me and it just makes me feel like GREAT change is just around the corner!

“… in truth the few moments spent each day on this new habit are but as small price to pay for the happiness and success that will be mine!” “Today my old skin has become as dust I will walk tall among men and they will know me not, for today I am a new woman with a new life!”-OG Mandino

 

 

Love,

Crystal Ann Magaña

Pandagirl🤗

WEEK 24- Mourning Tea

The other morning…I pulled myself out of my sleep and I woke up saying aloud “I need to change to be able to create”… it kind of freaked me out for a little bit because I never really wake up from my sleep that way. It felt similar to one of those dreams where you wake up from the falling sensation… But I have just been going over so much material that I am dreaming about it… I’ve had so many dreams of source and just having comfort and no worries in those dreams…They also brought feelings of safety…it was oddly satisfying…. This past week was very challenging for me… My body’s hormones become very imbalanced now and then. My thoughts take on the condition of my body and I spiral out of control mentally.. this week I focused on being greater then my body and it worked….. I brought my body eventually to a calm present state…I am proud of how far I have come… also on a pleasant note I got another message that made me smile and it’s my featured pic this week it came from my morning Tea it said “Nature does not hurry yet everything is accomplished.”-Lao Tzu Which reminded me of this weeks webinar talking about the bees 🐝 and how they do their lil dance… and it creates all this life and beauty… right now I am just amazed by all the little miracles around me and the serendipities that come my way…. I got to go in the middle of a hockey rink this week 🙂 and dance like nobody was watching… well in fact I was blindfolded and everyone saw lmao I was randomly selected for a dance game but none the less me being chosen at random was a fun surprise! Lol I feel like I continue to go through the cycle of life and death of my old self and it’s interesting how much more aware I become… I am loving it!

Love always,

Pandagirl

CRYSTAL ANN MAGAÑA 🐼🍄

Week 22A and 23- Misunderstood and loving it!

These two weeks I started firing and wiring new synaptic connections by picking up new and old hobbies…. I picked up my guitar that was gathering dust… I started a sewing project well learned how to sew kinda lol

🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼

… I connected with old friends and told them of my experience to try and help light the spark in them! I had lost myself for a long time and even though I have a child like nature at times.. I’ve always been timid and very misunderstood. The webinar during this week really was a great one… it reminded me that I didn’t have to provide an explanation to anyone about anything and that I am perfect the way that I am. I used to plead my case all the time to convince people why I was love able and why I should be treated with dignity…. now I know that is not necessary anymore and I know that because I am loving myself… and I am treating myself with respect which is helping me a lot with codependency issues I used to have. Also I added being misunderstood to my strengths pile and it is just a beautiful thing! I have opened a whole other line of communication with family and friends it’s very liberating to my soul.

My card was drawn this week whether you believe in card reading or not .. I have always gotten my cards read and the first one that was pulled this week was the page of swords and I just began to cry… my readings have always been very accurate… just gave me more validation that I am on the right track..hopefully you can read from the pic below but just talks about how I am opening my mind to endless possibilities!

Also, I would like to add that I met up with my friend at a brewery… usually being surrounded by alcohol I would always have to have at-least one drink I am glad to say I gave up alcohol for use of self medication because I don’t need it anymore! It always seemed like such a struggle to quit those bad habits but I had a Black Cherry soda that beautiful day… and as I said good bye to my friend and walked to my car I was greeted by the beauty of nature. I was just taken aback by the mix of pinks purples and blues that painted the early evening sky… it just took my breath away and I felt instant gratitude…. I know what is attainable now… and I want that for everyone… yea I am still a work in progress but just the joy and freedom I have felt these past couple of weeks… makes me want to open my heart even more.

Love always,

PANDA 🐼

WEEK 22- C O H E R E N C E

Coherence is in the silence… my visualizations as of late are of me walking into the quantum field.. I feel I grow closer as I continue to send love where there used to be none. This week I have found it hard to be in total silence.. I am constantly on the  go visiting friends and having new experiences.. music is also a  big part of my life…but the silence is calling me I just have this gut feeling that I have to go into the silence.  I truly am preparing myself for a week of silence.. I have told family and friends and they don’t quite understand but they support me anyways….

I  do believe now that thought creates conditions in the body..  I have been disconnected from my body for a long time. Stress hormones had taken over, but now I’m just learning and practicing to let that flow through me.  I pull myself into the present and live unaffected to some point. It really is a wonderful feeling. I have to say also that I used to be erratically  passionate, now I feel a sense of control and peace. I know I am on the right path.  I am grateful.

Love always,

Crystal Ann Magaña 🐼🐼🐼

 

Painting done by my God daughter Lucy.

 

 

WEEK 21- Forever Grateful

I had a moment of clarity this week so much that it brought me to tears…. I had been celebrating my birthday all month long with my friends and family… I decided to throw myself a party. Historically my birthday had always been a sad event in my life growing up….up until three years ago… I started to throw myself parties because I didn’t want to cry anymore… I didn’t care what anyone thought I just wanted my friends to come out and enjoy themselves… and dance and sing with me… In my life I had always wished for friends… or to be surrounded by people who cared… well this year as I sat in my tiara lol I looked around and I realized that the people who showed up to my party were the people who were supposed to be in my life right now. They are kind hearted compassionate people… I actually felt my heart swell with love and joy it brought me to tears… which gives a whole other meaning to “Its my party and I can cry if I want to” I felt like I attracted these people into my life and their love for me was no coincidence… they actually accepted me for me… flaws and all! I wish I had learned everything I know now sooner… but I am truly thankful that that those events brought me here now.

I am going to get kinda dark right now…. This was my last resort… when I found the masterkeys I was in a bad state of mind… I had felt like I had tried everything to help myself from therapy to medications….. and much more… I can relate to people with depression and anxiety on so many levels but my message to them now is so much different then it was five months ago…. because now I believe anything is possible… and I have achieved a sense of freedom that I want everyone to feel! I want others to believe that it’s possible to be free from the negative thoughts that bind us… free of that prison I think we all create for ourselves at one point. I don’t think a lot of us know that we are stronger then we are… we are god like… pure divinity… and it’s amazing really… Sometimes I wanna question myself… but then I remember that we all capable of great things…. I will just forever be grateful and I just want to fill my heart with love because love is the key..

Crystal Ann Magaña

-Pandagirl🐼

WEEK 20- My faith began to waver…

It was one of those weeks where I laid sick in bed… and my faith began to waver… The old blue print began to tell me I wasn’t worthy of love… it began to tell me that I wasn’t good enough… well I took control of those thoughts within 15 mins. I still felt the pain.. but it quickly went away! I remembered the person I used to be and how I never want to go back to that… Valentine’s Day passed and my cold got worse… I laid tossing and turning but I remembered to be grateful because I know my immune system will eventually fight it off… and I began to make goals to get stronger health wise and in matters of my mind and heart… I let someone I love go FOR REAL this week .. I let him go for me.. and it’s something I thought I would never do… I wished him happiness and eventual prosperity… I let him go to take the final step of completely loving myself…. this was one thing that quite often answered the question “what am I pretending not to know…?” I am just so happy that I am strong enough to have made that decision…

This week in the webinar they talked about how we can use those negative thoughts and turn them into tools for expanding… that message really clicked for me because since I have become so aware of what I want to manifest and create for myself… it’s easier for the watchman at the gate to do his job! Ha… I noticed that me getting sick made me vulnerable to those ugly thoughts… before I got sick… I was reading up on Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work… and watching testimonials of great things he has done in his own practice…it’s a path I intend to take mainly the practice of meditation to reprogram myself… his work and the science he backs it up with are very fascinating to me… I got excited again for life, it was just a mix of emotions this week… the MKE has really expanded my way of thinking and I am so grateful to be apart of this program… they gave me the right tools to help myself… but when it comes down to it I haven’t eliminated fear completely and it’s obvious…. somewhere buried in me I am still that frightened little girl.. I don’t really give attention to it but I’m trying to find a way to completely set her free… loving myself I feel is the foundation… and I know now that I will never let anyone break it because it means so much to me…. I know I am energy and I am love … and I am just ready to get stronger!

☕️🦠🤧😷🐼😴

Crystal Ann Magaña

PANDA

WEEK-19 In loving memory

The world lost a beautiful soul this week Sheryl Campbell. She was my Tennis coach in middle school. She always coached very sternly, but she was always very loving. After I left middle school I ventured out and took time for my studies but our paths crossed every now and then until I became an adult… I ran into her during my college years…she was someone I looked up to…someone I will never forget because she left an impression on me…. Her reach spanned over 30 years working in the school system and I honestly believe she left her legacy…. The week it happened I had her on my mind… then a few days later I found out she passed… I was shocked… she was taken too soon… I read her obituary this week… For the past couple of weeks I had been reading obituaries.. but it’s different when it’s someone who has touched your life… There was also a death in my karaoke world Reece who was also taken to soon… she was just a bit older then I am… and she struggled to find peace for so many years… it hurts me when anyone passes but someone so close to my age. I realize we are not promised tomorrow. Shortly after that I found out my middle school video productions teacher died about a year ago helping people in Uganda…. Mr. Davis… he also touched my life when I was at a age when life was so hard …he brought a light into my darkness… Kindness no matter how small can resonate for years and I believe it’s what our world needs more of… Even though I’m saddened by these losses… I’m glad I live in a world where I knew they existed…

Always be kind…be the light for others…

-Crystal Ann Magaña 🐼🐼🐼

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